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i.

it began in berlin, where your confessions
ripped the breath from my lungs and the ground from under my feet.

i held you and promised myself to stay intact, because if i couldn't,
how would i find hope for you?

i don't remember what the streets looked like but i remember the icy focus it took to make the right words find their way to your ears
and i remember the hope i felt when you told me i was wise, but what is wisdom worth
when disregarded in a marijuana haze, what is wisdom worth when you refuse to let it reach you?

the moment we said goodbye, the earth swallowed me.

(i didn't scream, but i won't lie to spare you brother, many tears fell).


ii.

i forgot that hope is dangerous, it grows and mutates
until the future you imagine is almost tangible,

then it slips out of your clammy hands
and you curse yourself for trying to hold onto it at all.

when you pick it up again, it has faltered.

for me, it flickered on and off until finally, the battery ran out.


iii.

months passed and berlin fed you spoonfuls of lies and hatred
until you left scorch marks on your family,

but we were always willing to walk through fire for you.

(six airplane tickets and who-knows-how-many infernos later, we had you again,
but that did not mean berlin had let you go.)

i was downstairs when the screaming started and i wish i could forgot
how desperate it sounded, how i rocked myself back and forth
because only movement could keep my promise,
i will stay intact no matter how much it hurts.


iv.

(summer let us breathe out, but now it is autumn and soon the leaves will turn into red flames.
one by one, they will abandon the branches for the cold ground beneath.

i shiver, and think of cleaning burn wounds on my mother's face.)


v.

you lit a cigarette, and breathed in berlin again.
i dare not hope
Don't know if I should have uploaded this. Sometimes writing hurts and if it wasn't in the middle of the night right now I don't think I would want anyone to see this.
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It seems like more time passes between every journal entry,and I almost always start off by saying I'm sorry for my inactivity. Well here I go again. Sorry.

I still won't promise to be more active here, for it to be fun I need to actually want to. Not sure if I do, but I also haven't written any poetry as of late, and it feels sort of pointless to hang around here without contributing. I will try to get through all of your deviations when I can, but my inbox is kind of clogged and I don't always have the time or patience to sort through it.

But I do have some news.

I'm writing a novel right now, or well I'm starting one. It's for a school project but also for myself since it's something I've wanted to do for a while but always lacked motivation for. Now the motivation is there, along with stress and fear, but I think I can do it. I won't put any of it on here in case I ever try to get it published, but I still felt like sharing this little fact here.

I hope all of you are doing well, sorry for being so distant.
  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: Breathing Underwater - Metric
  • Reading: A Clash of Kings
  • Watching: Dead Like Me

deviantID

EternalSunday
Sam
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Sweden
Hello there!
I am 19 and from Sweden. A few years ago I started to write down the thoughts in my head, and realized those thoughts might be poems. Not much else to say about me, but if you want to know something, just ask.

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tumblr: disperseus.tumblr.com
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:iconstargirl2791:
stargirl2791 Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you for the fave!
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:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
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atlantic-lungs Featured By Owner May 2, 2014  Student Writer
thankies for the fave :hug:
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:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! :)
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:iconsetmyworldintomotion:
many thanks for the favourite. :heart:
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:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome! :D
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BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hello there.  Thank you for faving Too Data-Sexy.  It's much appreciated.
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:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! :)
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hakuthegirl Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the favourite!!
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:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
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