literature

They left me one by one

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Literature Text

One day Confidence packed his bags and left. I caught him by the door just when he was about to leave. The moment I saw his bags, I realized what was happening. This was not the first time Confidence had walked out on me.

"Where are you going?" I asked, trying not to sound terrified.

"Away", he answered bluntly, and grabbed the door knob.

"Why?" I asked. "Have I done something to upset you?"

"You already know why," Confidence said and looked at me with his fierce eyes. "You never listen to me, no matter what I say."

"But I do!"

"No, you don't."

And that was it. I didn't get a chance to say anything else before Confidence slammed the door in my face.  Trembling, I sank down on the doormat. He'll come back, I thought to myself, he always comes back.

But this time he didn't.

During the next few days, I shut myself in my bedroom and no one but Misery and Self-hatred were allowed in. Neither of them were any good at comforting me though. They just told me how worthless I was, and how surprised they were that Confidence had bothered to stay with me for such a long time. And although it didn't make me feel any better, I knew their words were true.

When I finally left my room, Happiness approached me. I smiled at her, feeling the memories of our best times flow through me Maybe everything would be alright after all. But she didn't smile back like she usually did.

"I'm so sorry", Happiness said, "I know you really need me right now, but I can't stay."

I just looked at her, my eyes wide open. I couldn't believe it.

"It's just that I really miss Confidence," Happiness continued, "The two of us usually go hand by hand, you know. And the others...Ever since Confidence left, they've been sort of doubting me."

"But I need you."

"I'm sure you'll be fine without me", Happiness said, avoiding all eye-contact.

I tried to run after her when she walked away, afraid that she would never return. But the others held me back. When she was gone, Misery gave me a pat on the shoulder.

"Happiness is overrated anyway", she said.


But later it turned out that wasn't the case. The moment Happiness left, it was as if the sun had set for the last time. While she'd been around the others had kept their peace but now they were all fighting each other. The warmth that held us together had disappeared.

It didn't take long before I lost control over the situation. Optimism and a few others followed Happiness's example and left before things started to turn real ugly.

And then one day, Anger woke up. He'd been asleep for so many years I barely remembered his face. But there he stood, dressed in an old dressing gown, and he looked rather annoyed. Hope and Remorse were having their usual morning argument, and Ambition and Self-hatred were in the middle of a fist fight. Anger cleared his throat to grab their attention.

"What the hell is going on here?" he shouted. "I finally wake up and what do I find?"

Everyone looked at him, none of them making any excuses. They were too afraid of Anger to say anything at all. So was I.

"If you can't behave yourself, then leave", he continued. "Or I'll throw you out."

Everyone shook with fear. They were quieter than ever before. Hope looked at me, tears bottling up in her tender eyes. She gave me a quick hug, whispered goodbye, and ran towards the door. Ambition was the next one to go.

I hid in my bedroom for a while, trying to make sense of what was happening. Anger knocked on my door a few times but I didn't let him in.

So he kicked down the door.

"Just leave me alone!" I cried at him, when he entered my room.

"Come on! It's peaceful out there again. Why so sad?"

"It's not peaceful, it's empty. Nobody is here, because you scared them away!"

"That's not true," Anger said. "Misery, Self-hatred and Remorse are still here. And then there's me."

"I hate you!"

Anger laughed.

"You would never make it without me," he said. "Never."

His words paralyzed me. For a moment I almost believed him.  Then something inside me snapped, and I started shouting at Anger.

"Out!" I screamed. "Get out of here you mean bastard, I don't ever want to see your face again!"

The smirk on his lips began to fade away when he realized I was serious. Without a word, he turned around and headed to the front door. I didn't go after him. When I heard the door slam, I sighed of relief. Once Anger was gone, the others came out of their hiding places. Remorse looked at me and sighed.

"And who exactly are you expecting to fix that door?" he said and shook his head.

"Exactly," Self-hatred filled in. "You should have opened it when he knocked."

When he said those words I realized that even though Anger was finally gone, nothing else had changed. The problem wasn't solved. Misery, Self-hatred and Remorse were the only ones left and they were just as bad as Anger, in their own ways. But they were much more persistent and I knew they would never leave even if I begged them to. And for some reason I wasn't sure if I wanted them to go. Having them around felt better than having no one at all.

And so my life went on. I tried to call Hope a few times, but she never picked up. My few companions were always by my side, constantly complaining. They never ran out of nasty remarks.
Remorse kept me awake at night. Once I closed my eyes he'd sing lullabies, reminding me of all my past mistakes and of the failures yet to come. In the end I didn't have enough energy to make him stop, so I just listened.

The house became a mess but nobody cared enough to clean it. Dust covered the floor, and the door Anger had kicked in still wasn't repaired. Once I had loved my house, but that was a long time ago. Now I resented it.

I just wanted to escape. But the thought of leaving scared me. I knew that once I closed the door behind me, there would be no turning back.  And I knew nothing about the world outside.

But desperate times called for desperate measures. One day I found myself in the hallway. I'm still not sure exactly how I got there. My heart skipped a beat when I tied my shoelaces, and I began doubting my decision. But then I saw Remorse, Self-hatred and Misery standing behind me.

"I knew it would come to this", Remorse said and shrugged. "After all the damage you've done, there's no way this place can be fixed."

"You never deserved this house anyway", Self-hatred added.

I didn't answer them, there was no need to.

"You'll be better off somewhere else", Misery said.

"I...I think you're right", I stuttered, unsure of how to say it. "Goodbye..."

And then, I opened the door and walked out.
So...how to explain this story?

I've always imagined my emotions as people stuck together in a big house. All of these feelings have different personality traits and habits, and almost all of them are selfish assholes.

Yes, that's right, selfish assholes.

Confidence is the worst. He is really picky about everything, can't take criticism and walks away whenever he feels like it.

I rarely get angry, so Anger is always sleeping. But he has quite a terrible morning mood...

For critique:
:bulletred: This is the first time I've written a short story with dialogue in English, so please tell me how to improve the dialogues, in my opinion they're the weakest point in this story...

:bulletred: Is the concept too cliché?

:bulletred: How did you feel about the ending?

:bulletred: Any horrible grammar or typing mistakes?

Thanks for reading! :love:
© 2011 - 2024 EternalSunday
Comments29
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ChiaraElena's avatar
Hey, wow, I really loved reading this little story! :heart:

To answer your critique points:
1) Holy crap, you're not a native speaker? I would have never thought you're acutally from Sweden... do you have any relatives from England, Irealand, the US etc? Maybe I couldn't notice any awkwardness because I'm from Germany, but really, I think the dialogues were just great!
2) I actually find the concept very original - I like the way you analysed a human's (your own?) mind and made it so understandable for a reader. There were many sentences and scenes were I thought: "Oh, hey, I know such situations! (Seriously, why does that damn b*tch Happiness always have to stick with Confidence? ._.)"
3) I think the ending is very hopeful and I consider it a happy end because the narrator is finally escaping this hell of bad emotions. I would say, this story could give good advice to people who are constantly feeling down and suffer the same problems.
4) In my opinion, your English is wonderfully written and absolutely correct! (At least compared to my own English... honhon)

I will definitely keep 'They left me one by one' in mind and maybe show it some friends at the occasion. :)