dissolve

maybe now
it will be easier to

stop

feeling

like a mechanical failure, cables
tangled up everywhere until they cover my field of vision
and i have to try and untie them but it's

so much easier to use the scissors.

the moment

before i fall asleep i try to think
of it as art but it doesn't change anything, i have put myself
in a tiny shoe box and

i shouldn't be surprised to run out out of oxygen,
so i try to revel in it,

make myself blind to avoid conflict.

it gnaws into me like guilt and it isn't really alive but
i feel like it is draining me and i can't see it as anything but
slowly being pulverized.

i want to look away but this time i don't.