Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
i.
i tried to think of pain as a flower,
first it blossoms

  and then

  it wilts away.

but i won't let myself disappear
along with it,

i won't
give you that.


(it's not the agony that makes
me scream, it's the flavor).


ii.
and you whispered softly
"i'll rip your heart out and replace it

with a song,

it's christmas soon, and
we should celebrate".

  you've always used my scars
  as a calendar,

  as a way to remind yourself

  "today is tuesday

  and i still exist".

iii.
(it's morning now because
i can see
the sunlight

through my eyelids

and imagine
a bright summer day,

the flowers are
beautiful,

so
damn

beautiful).
Don't forget to water my plants while I'm gone...

Feedback is always appreciated! :love:
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2012-12-21
The emotion just bleeds from the words as they blend into one another, making it impossible to stop reading says the suggester. we should celebrate is by ~EternalSunday ( Suggested by LadyofGaerdon and Featured by Nichrysalis )
:iconbluediamondsnow:
BlueDiamondSnow Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Some of the lines in your poetry are so novel and exquisite: 
you've always used my scars   as a calendar; 

(it's not the agony that makes
me scream, it's the flavor).

Holy crap! You are an amazing writer! 
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconduchesseofdusk:
DuchesseOfDusk Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Very touching poem. I like it :)
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Professional Writer
I managed to miss this the first time through. And almost missed it again the second time around.

You've presented the essence of an abusive relationship with a metaphor that's as lovely as it is disturbing.
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconiastartov:
IAstartov Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Great work, like how it sounds.
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconkuraitenshiv:
KuraiTenshiV Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist
this is nice, good imagery
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconkuraitenshiv:
KuraiTenshiV Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist
Np =)
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Student General Artist
Wow. Actually much more coherent than a lot of other poems I read.
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student General Artist
You're welcome. :hug:
Reply
:iconpurple-panda-sxr:
Purple-Panda-SxR Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012   Writer
So bittersweet D:
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconcrazed-fangirl-rar:
crazed-fangirl-rar Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
nice.
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconilovealek:
ILoveAlek Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this! I never would have compared pain to something as beautiful as a flower. It really made me think (:
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:icondanni-chan15:
Danni-Chan15 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
simply beautiful
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconwinchesterbrosinc:
WinchesterBrosInc Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Student General Artist
Wow. You truly have a gift for poetry.
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconwinchesterbrosinc:
WinchesterBrosInc Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student General Artist
You're welcome~ (>^_^)> <3
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012   General Artist
Congratulations on DD, darling creature! :squee:
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :meow:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012   General Artist
You're welcome! :D
Reply
:iconchildrenofthemcrmy:
ChildrenOfTheMCRmy Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This. Is a masterpiece. I enjoy writing poems, and I've had a lot to deal with in my life, so I can thoroughly understand this and relate to it. I really like the line breaks and the similes and the overall emotion it conveys. It is amazing.
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconchildrenofthemcrmy:
ChildrenOfTheMCRmy Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I envy your writing skills, lol
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
With a bit of practice anyone can learn anything. I'm still unsure of whether I'm actually any good at this, but I guess you need a reasonable mix of ego and self doubt to keep developing.

But if you write a lot you'll get good at it, that I am sure of. :)
Reply
:iconchildrenofthemcrmy:
ChildrenOfTheMCRmy Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I think I'm okay at writing, stories that is. My poems need some work. And I need to expand my vocabulary a bit, but yeah.
And you're really good at writing judging from this. It's really good.
Your statement about needing a mix of ego and doubt is so true though.
Sometimes I think I'm really good and other times I look at my work and want to cry because I think it's so bad...
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. I find myself writing more stories these days too, my poetry skills come and go.

Yeah, it's really frustrating switching between loving and hating your work isn't it? It has given me countless headaches. Judging your own stuff is really hard. But I think the important thing is too keep writing because that's the only way to improve. And it's fun. :)
Reply
:iconchildrenofthemcrmy:
ChildrenOfTheMCRmy Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I can only write okay poems when I'm in a certain mood. I can't really force them.
And I agree, it is pretty nerve wracking. It annoys me.
I'm taking a creative writing class currently, but it's not really helping me because the teacher tells us to write, but isn't giving us any new skills to work on.
But I do enjoy writing. I would like to have my work published one day, but I still think need a lot of work before I can even think to try.
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's the same for me with poetry, if I try to force it turns rubbish.
Shame that the classes aren't what you expected, but maybe you'll get to learn new tricks later on.

Getting published is really hard. I don't really have a chance with it since I live in Sweden but write in English. Unless I move when I get older I'll probably just be writing as a hobby.
Reply
:iconjcole18:
jcole18 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
wow I love this writing
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconjcole18:
jcole18 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
o your welcome
Reply
:iconxxjackiepackiexo:
xxJackiePackiexo Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Amazing :love: <3
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconxxjackiepackiexo:
xxJackiePackiexo Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Your welcome :tighthug:
Reply
:iconkirafaclaws22:
kirafaclaws22 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
wow, this is so beautiful. definatly deserving of a DD. it sounds like you wrote it off a personal experience.
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconcrown-heart:
Crown-Heart Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
This is extremely well done! The depth and levels of this is simply amazing :love:
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :)
Reply
:iconcrown-heart:
Crown-Heart Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Np! :hug:
Reply
:iconhospi88:
Hospi88 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
really wonderful, love that part " you've always used my scars
as a calendar, " very impressive metaphor :)
Reply
:iconeternalsunday:
EternalSunday Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
This is beautiful. :heart: Congrats on the DD! :)
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconeternalsunday: More from EternalSunday


Featured in Collections

Favorite Writing Pieces by xxxCelestialxxx

Literature by Ink-Stained-Kisses

Literary Masterpieces by shunsuixnanaofan101


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
December 23, 2011
File Size
1,011 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
3,994
Favourites
240 (who?)
Comments
92
×