EternalSunday

When I logged in to dA tonight I wasn't expecting to find out that my little poem transition had gotten a DD!

Honestly, I felt somewhat insecure about posting it in the first place, because it's the first time I truly wrote about my transition. I've touched on the subject before, but never gone into my own story in a deeper sense. Doing so left me feeling a bit vulnerable, in a way that simply talking about it usually doesn't. But I decided it was worth posting it anyway, in case someone in similar circumstances might find it helpful in some way. In the beginning of my own transition, I needed the stories of other trans people to help me figure things out, and later to not feel so alone in my struggles. I know it's the same for many others and I wanted to contribute to that, in my own way.

Thank you to everyone who commented, faved and gave me a watch, and thank you to Domaex for suggesting my poem as a DD and to akrasiel for featuring it!

I recently went back and changed my profile to say that its currently more of an archive of my previous work than an active account. I think I'm going to have to change that again, because I've been writing more poetry again, and rather than just sitting on it I've published it. It's not as frequent as back in the day, but it's not quite true that this account is mostly dead. I'm going to try to get back into reading and commenting what other people write as well, but I'm studying at university now and my free time is limited, so we'll se how that goes.

Anyway! I have no idea if the people I follow and who followed me are still around, but a lot has changed in my life since I was active here. First of all, I figured out that I'm transgender, so I go by a different name and I use male pronouns now. I edited my profile to update all of that a while back, but I haven't actually explained or stated anything about it before. I figured that I probably should, just in case someone who knew me before is still around dA. Not that there's really much to say about it, except I'm a dude.

Aside from that, a lot of other things have happened too. I'm currently studying sociology at a local university, I just moved into a dorm, I've gotten into tabletop roleplaying and Magic the Gathering - all those really nerdy things, really. Other, less great things have happened too but that's just how life is.

I'm not promising that I'll be super active here but I do feel like I've regained the need and the motivation to write poetry again, so I'll drop in once in a while, at least.

It seems like more time passes between every journal entry,and I almost always start off by saying I'm sorry for my inactivity. Well here I go again. Sorry.

I still won't promise to be more active here, for it to be fun I need to actually want to. Not sure if I do, but I also haven't written any poetry as of late, and it feels sort of pointless to hang around here without contributing. I will try to get through all of your deviations when I can, but my inbox is kind of clogged and I don't always have the time or patience to sort through it.

But I do have some news.

I'm writing a novel right now, or well I'm starting one. It's for a school project but also for myself since it's something I've wanted to do for a while but always lacked motivation for. Now the motivation is there, along with stress and fear, but I think I can do it. I won't put any of it on here in case I ever try to get it published, but I still felt like sharing this little fact here.

I hope all of you are doing well, sorry for being so distant.

I'm going to Berlin over the week and won't be home until Friday, and I'm unlikely to have any internet access. So if I don't respond to messages that's why. I doubt anyone will notice since I'm not very active on dA nowadays, but I thought I should tell you anyway.

I have been writing, but mostly prose and nothing that is good enough to upload here, and poetry is still kind of hard for me at the moment. I'm sorry for being so inactive, but I'll try to leave more comments on your deviations and maybe start up my Wonderful Words features again. It just takes a lot of time and energy and I haven't really had much of that lately.

I got tagged by

1. You must post the rules.
2. Each person must post 5 things about themselves in their journal
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create eleven new questions for the people you tag to answer.
4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and post their icons on your journal.
5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged them.
6. No tag backs
7. No stuff in the tagging section about "you're tagged if you're reading this". You legitimately have to tag 11 people. Screw that, viva la revolucion!

5 things about me:

1. Last night I had a nightmare that I killed someone and it felt very realistic and when I woke up I thought it was true for a moment and felt so bad I thought I would throw up. But then I realized it was autumn in the dream, not winter, and my motive for doing it was extremely silly. But I still couldn't go back to sleep afterwards. :/
2. I am stuck in a writer's block right now and have been for about 6 months. So if I go crazy, blame that.
3. I'm thinking about changing my name to Sam because I'm not sure about my gender and Sam is a gender neutral name. Also my current name is extremely common in Sweden.
4. And while we're on the subject of sexuality, I'm bi.
5. I got kicked in the head by a horse a few months ago and if I had died my last words would've been "No it's okay, I'm fine."

Questions:

1. If you could be any magical being in the world, what would you be? A dragon, i'd be able to fly and spit fire on people I didn't like. Perfect.
2. What would you do if you saw a giant whale walk down the street in a tuxedo? I'd ask him where I could find his tailor because I've always wanted a tuxedo.
3. Tea or coffee? TEA!!!!!
4. Are you a cat or dog person?I like both.
5. If a guy came up to you looking way older then you and said he was your son, how would you react? Well son, I knew I'd time travel eventually. Would you like some tea?
6. If you could transform yourself into a animal witch animal would you transform yourself too? A bird.
7. Angels or demons? Demons generally have a better sense of humor.  
8. If I suddendly gave you a bag with a billion dollars in it, what would you do with it? I'd waste some of it on video games and comics, and give the rest to charity. And I would buy Ecanze some liquorice.
9. If your best friend got killed and you found out the killer was someone you cared greatly for, what would do? I'd want revenge so badly, but I'd be really conflicted about it, since I doubt my best friend would want me to do that. I'd either end up killing both that person and myself, or I'd turn him/her in to the police. I honestly don't know but I'd never forigve anyone who killed my friend, no matter how close we were.
10. If you could get anything in the world, what would you want? I don't want anything, at least not in the material sense. Maybe to be able to handle my anxiety better.
11. What's your favorite game? ARE YOU EXPECTING ME TO CHOOSE ONE???!? Ehmmm, Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Dishonored, Skyrim and a lot more but mentioning three is probably enough...(I could go on for years about my favorite games...)

That's all. I'm too tired to tag anyone but hey you can do whatever you want!